Friday, 12 December 2014

A Letter to Jing Xuan - You Were Braved

My Dearest Jing Xuan,

I know you can't read and understand any words at your age now but you can read this once you have started to learn a,b,c,d....and later understand each meaning of a word......

It was Friday (30/10). You started to vomit at night after drinking the milk that you normally drink. We thought it was because you had taken too much of food. You were having a bowl of porridge about 2 hours ago but since it was your routine to drink a bottle of milk before sleeping, Papa just prepared in about 3 ounces (usually you drink 7 ounces in about 3 to 4 hours time gap).

The next day, you were alright and I sent you to nanny house in the morning. You behaved as normally throughout the day. At night, before you slept, you took another bottle of milk but, not long after the milk, you vomited and this time you cried. Again, we thought that you had too much of food.

On Sunday, you have no problem at all, you ate and played as usual. It was a great day that Papa has with my two little princess.

Then, on Monday morning, as usual, I sent you to nanny house. While in the nanny house, just when I put you down on the floor but you quickly came to hug my leg and vomited again. I told nanny that I would send you to visit your doctor first and then sent you back here. I went home and together with your mommy, we brought you to consult Dr Goh who has been your doctor whenever you were not feeling well. Dr said you have viral infection in your stomach but you did not have any fever. He then prescribed medicines to you, including a diarrhea, vomit medicines, prolactor and oral rehydration salt. After giving you the medicines, I sent you back to nanny house. You were fine for the whole day and could sleep well at night.

The next Tuesday morning, after drinking milk at about 5.30am, you vomited again. We gave you medicine and let you sleep.I decided not to send you to nanny house and asked mommy to look after you for a day to see how was your condition. We measured your temperature but you did not have any fever. Papa left for work then.

Mommy called me at about 9am++ to inform that you cried and did not want to drink milk. I could hear your crying very loud from the back ground. Worrying your conditions, papa decided to take an emergency leave from work to bring you to consult doctor again. Just right after papa was packing stuff in the office, mommy called me, papa did not answer but called mommy back very shortly, what papa could hear was that, mommy was screaming and crying...mommy said Jing Xuan fainted...which papa could not hear clearly and papa could also hear mommy was shouting "tolong, tolong...." to neighbor to ask for help. Papa immediately ran out from office and drove as fast as I could back to home....While driving, papa prayed to Guanyin to protect you and not to let anything bad happened to you....Papa called back again to mommy and she told papa she was at the normal clinic and doctor advice mommy to send you to hospital immediately. That time, you were conscious and doctor also has checked your oxygen level and you were fine temporary. Papa told mommy to hold on as papa would be there soon....mommy called me again and informed that doctor asked not to wait any longer and must send to nearby hospital, which is KPJ Shah Alam. Papa insisted mommy to send to Sunway Hospital as you have all the records there, in addition, Papa had a bad experience in KPJ hospital. That time mommy was about to leave from the clinic with the help from a neighbour, papa said papa would meet her half way. We met and papa thanked the driver, who papa never met before (Papa found out later that he was a contractor and was doing renovation work at one of our neighbour houses).

Papa saw you were resting at mommy's arms, looked very tired. Mommy told me actually you were having fit at home when you cried and mommy was panicked. Again, papa drove fast and prayed to Guanyin for her mercy and protect you. After reaching the emergency place, mommy alighted from car and brought you to see one of the nurses and you were examined by a doctor very soon.

After parking my car, papa walked fast to the emergency ward and asked a nurse where was my daughter, she lead me there and you were crying. Papa carried and consoled you. It was about 11am. A nurse came and informed that the doctor advice us to admit you for one or two days to monitor your condition but let us decide. Papa agreed. While waiting for admission registration, you vomited again. Doctor said he wanted to have your blood for examination. The nurses then wrapped you with a towel and when papa saw the doctor inserted the long needle syringe into your hand, it was really disheartening to watch you crying, papa knew it was very painful for you. You refused to sleep on the bed and only wanted papa to carry and slept on papa's shoulder. Papa decided to stay with you in hospital and asked mommy to go home and bring papa some cloths and stuff.


At about 12.20pm, you have another fit again, it was frightening as your eyes rolled up. Nurses quickly came and inserted a medicine into your rectal. The whole thing lasted in less than two minute. You were giving oxygen to help breathing. By now, doctor said you must place in High Dependency Unit or HDU for observation. Papa asked a nurse what is HDU. She told me it is a close monitoring room, just like ICU but ICU is for more critical condition. Your conditions must be closely monitored since you had 3 fits within such a short period while in the emergency ward. Doctor also said you have to do an EEG to determine whether the fit was caused by your brain. If it is, then you have to take medicine for a long time. If the result is negative, then the fit might cause by virus in your stomach. Hopefully, it would be the later one.

We waited until about 2pm, then a nurse transferred you to the HDU. You looked really tired and only wanted to sleep. Nurse informed us that normally after a fit, a person would feel tire and sleepy. Papa felt really sad and disheartening when seeing you lying on the bed. You were only an infant but have to suffer from such an illness. Papa felt helpless except praying that you could overcome all this very fast.

While in the HDU, you have another fit again around 4pm++. A doctor and nurses came in, this time, you vomited. We rolled your body on one side. A nurse used a long tube and inserted it into your nose to your lung to suck out the liquid, you were struggling. Papa could see from your face that you felt pain to have that tube in your nose. The nurse did this twice and the second time when the tube pulled out from your nose, I saw there was a small amount of blood in the tube. By then, you were back to normal and fall asleep again. It was so scary and so sad to see you having fits and suffering........

A nurse later replaced another bag of drip, according to her, it was for the treatment of fit and you needed it for about an hour. Your body temperature was measured at an interval period as well. You were later given a normal drip after an hour. Papa prayed that your fit did not happen again. Papa think God of mercy heard me and for the whole night, you did not have fit but two time diarrhea. You did not cry, I just changed your pampers.

On 5/11 (Wednesday) morning, you woke up at about 6am, the time you used to wake up at home during week days. I could see from your eyes that you were still tired. I asked you if you wanted to drink milk, you noted your head and said yes. Papa prepared 5 ounces of milk for you.

Papa was glad to see you to behave such a way that you looked so strong. When you saw your hand being bandaged and there were few wires on your body, you did not cry or make any noise. You just played with them. You were really a strong child and papa was so proud of you.

But soon after you finished your milk, you vomited again but did not cry. Nurse helped to change your bed sheet and papa changed your cloths. You were given a medicine later and slept back soon.

You looked strong again although you vomited short while ago. Papa is very proud of you.

You slept for about 2 hours. About 8.45am, I asked you if you wanted to eat bread, you said yes. As usual, you always wanted to take whatever you can grab. You hold the breads with your two hands. 

 Although your left hand was being bandaged, you still tried to hold and eat the bread without any complain. 

 After finished your breads, a nurse came in asked if you wanted to eat porridge, you always never refuse a good offer.

You have to do an EEG to record your brain activity on Wednesday (5/11) morning and was given a sleeping medicine for you to sleep in order to carry out the procedure smoothly. Soon after you fall asleep, a lab technician came with an EEG machine. He attached about 20 small discs with a thin lead connected to the EEG machine on your head and papa was told this procedure would take about 45 minutes.

But the procedure lasted only about 13 minutes as you were awakened by the door noise when a nurse came in. The lab technician said he managed to get some activities of your brain and the procedure could be stopped. He said the report could be ready by this evening or tomorrow morning and a doctor would explain to papa the results. Your stool was also has been collected for examination.

For the whole day, you only could drink a little bit of milk as you would vomit if you took too much volume. One of papa primary school mates from Australia (we have a whatsapp chat group) advice papa not to give you drink milk as your stomach was weak, we could let you eat porridge but with more water on it. Papa wondered why doctor never informed papa or mommy about this. I called mommy and informed her about this and she bought a soy milk product, Isomil Plus which is not a cow's milk based formulas.

Doctor came to visit you in the evening and said the EEG report still not ready. Papa asked if you could transfer to normal ward since you have started to stabilize (only diarrhea), he said if your conditions remained the same good as now, you could transfer tomorrow. You felt better on the 2nd night in HDU and was able to sleep soundly. 

On Thursday (6/11) morning, you woke up about 7am and papa prepared 5 ounces Isomilk for you to drink. 
 You look better than the first day.

Doctor came to visit you about 9am++ and papa asked doctor when could you transfer to normal ward, doctor said he would instruct the nurse to do the transfer. Again, papa asked whether the EEG result was out, he told papa to wait as the doctor in-charged still has not let him know, probably by this afternoon or evening. A nurse came to ask if papa wanted a Deluxe single-bed room or normal double-bed room. Papa told her papa wanted a single-bed room as papa prefer to have more privacy for my little Jing Xuan. She said for a single-bed room, papa has to wait as there was no room at the moment, the hospital would put us under waiting list.

Mommy came around noon time. By then, you looked better but still have diarrhea from time to time. Papa told mommy that papa wanted to go home to settle some of papa's things and would fetch your elder sister from school later and come back to hospital.

After fetching your sister from kindergarten in the evening, we went for a dinner, went back home to change her cloths before going to hospital.

While on the way, in the car, your sister said.....

 Papa, this little bear is for little sister, I miss her a lot....

How nice to hear such a words from your sister. though she is still young, yet she knew what was going on with her little sister.

When we reached hospital, the single or double bed room was still not available, neither the EEG result was made known by the doctor. Papa went in to the HDU and saw mommy was carrying you, papa took over and mommy went out from the HDU area to bring your sister went home as children below 12 years are not allowed to go into HDU.

For the entire night, you slept soundly as the previous night. You woke up about 7am++ and wanted to drink milk. Papa prepared 5 ounces Isomilk for you. After an hour, you wanted to eat again and I gave you some corn flakes...

You are definitely better than the past few days...

Yummy, yummy...you miss the corn flakes a lot.

Papa, do you want to have one ?

Doctor came in the morning and knew the normal ward bed room was not available. Papa asked if you could be discharged today since you were alright as you could eat and drink without vomit, you could play, speech and laugh but only has diarrhea. Doctor said he would inform after getting the EEG report from the other doctor concerned. 

You started to feel impatient....you did not want to sleep and stay in the room but wanted to be carried and out from the bed and room. The nurses would play with you and we could hear your laughter and enjoyed. 

You only slept once in the noon time and most of the time, you were out from the room, of course wanted papa to carry since you could not walk. 

In the evening, doctor came again and examined you, read the nurse's report and gather some feedback from the nurse. He then said you were allowed to discharged. Papa asked him what about the EEG result as it was pending too long ? He re-checked with the nurse and the relevant department. Apparently, there was a miscommunication between doctor and the specialist.He told papa he would get the report and let papa know later but said again, your conditions should be alright but we have to send you back for check up after a week. Papa wanted to know what was the root causes for you to have vomit and fit. Doctor said the cause could be virus in your stomach but not the rotavirus as the result was negative after they have done a lap test on it. The virus might trigger your brain nerves and caused the fit happened. He advice us have to monitor your condition at home and not to send to nanny house for time being.

It was really a relief to see you recovering from the vomit and fit. Now, we only have to watch out for your diarrhea. Before you left the HDU room, you have a last diarrhea and nurse came in to help.

After paying all the fees. Papa was given a medical report and the relevant invoice and bill for papa to claim from the insurance company. Mommy came and we brought you home. While in the hospital, your sister was so happy to see you able to go home.

Later, papa went through the doctor's report and it wrote that the final diagnosis was Viral AGE & Afebrile Seizures. 



Papa is curious to find out what that means and what actually caused my little girl to suffer from fits or seizures, though doctor told papa it could be the stomach virus but how the virus did until you have the fits. Papa search through the internet and found some of the articles that are useful to learn and understand :


The doctor's report also mentioned that there is a possibility for you to relapse. Since then, mommy and papa decided to take care of you ourselves without sending you to nanny house anymore. Mommy has cancelled few of her piano classes. 

After a week, we brought you back to the doctor for a follow up check up. He only asked us few questions and said you should be alright. Papa asked again if you have the vaccine of Rotavirus, how could you suffered from AGE ? Doctor explained that it was not caused by the Rotavirus, maybe some other unknown virus and then show papa and mommy the test report for Rotavirus, which was negative. 

You are back to her normal life now..... you play, want to be carried, eat, laugh, cry, make funny gestures for us to laugh, fought with your sisters for toys.....

We pray the relapse will not happen and pray to Buddha that you always stay healthy and happy.

Jing Xuan, papa want you to know that....Papa, mommy and your sister always love you very much, forever !

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